TO WIT;
PITCHING INVESTORS TO RAISE FUNDING
AND
PITCHING TO WIN PITCH COMPETITIONS
ARE NOT THE SAME THING

KNOWING THIS,

FIRST PREPARE & PRACTICE
A KILLER HIGH-CONCEPT-PITCH*
A PERSUASIVE ELEVATOR PITCH*
AND A REAL PITCH DECK* FOR INVESTORS & FUNDRAISING

THEN REDUCE THE PITCH AND THE DECK
DOWN TO THE MOST SALIENT ESSENTIALS
(CONTENTS PULLED FROM DECK + HIGH-CONCEPT + ELEVATOR + OPP SIZE + CTA)
TO FIT THE COMPETITION REQUIREMENTS (CRITERIA + TIME)

PRACTICE
PRACTICE
PRACTICE

DELIVER WITH SYMPATHY/EMPATHY

END ON A CLEAR CTA

DONE

#WINNING

Winning at the Vanity Theatre in 2026

• PITCH ON F*ING TIME! (SERIOUSLY!)
• Use language and concepts anyone can understand and relate to
• Be visual, it’s a big stage show presentation, make it a memorable spectacle!
• DO NOT USE SMALL TEXTS, CHECK CONTRAST RATIO FRONT to BACK
• Don’t recite a f*ing script, ever (you are going to look like an idiot when you eventually forget a line and can't get back on track - "follow the path" instead)
• DO NOT USE AI TO WRITE YOUR PITCH
  (someone on the jury will notice and tell the others and now you have real griefers)
• DO NOT USE AI TO GENERATE VISUALS or SLIDES (without checking the output with someone with a track record of "good taste" - most often your generated slides f*ing SUCK!)
• Be the Tree, feet solidly planted on the ground, feet a bit apart
• Hands to the sides, never arms crossed, open and engaging
• Don’t swerve, don’t fidget, stay put, exercise body control, control of body language 
• Step forwards for effect - lean into it, never backwards
• Do not turn your back to audience or jury
• Do not look audience in the face for too long, stay focused, select a spot left back, right middle and center close to focus on, distribute eye-time
• Make strategic pauses, leave space for the most important points
• Don’t forget to breathe - brains need Oxygen to perform
• Start strong, end strong, sandwich novelty in between
• Kill all “um”, “uh”, “so”, “yeah”, “right” fillers from your pitch
• Prepare for the Q&A, answer as succinct as possible, don’t be defensive - be assertive, open, and attentively listening

*see our "Pitching Masterclass" for what goes into the perfect different pitches and how to nail delivery.